Love Island USA wrapped its season. Congratulations #Brinity!Now the culture briefly has to survive without a cast of beautiful people betraying each other near an open flame. Christian television s...

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When something goes wrong in your home, it’s important to contact the right professional. Most issues fall into familiar categories—electrical, structural, mechanical—and can be resolved by someone with ...

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WASHINGTON, DC — In a move one aide described as “bold, gutsy, and prototypical Trump,” Donald J. Trump has announced Ghislaine Maxwell as his vice presidential pick for 2028. “Look...

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Don’t ask us how, but we at The Quollective got our hands on the Epstein files, and here they are in their entirety! UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT ████████████████████████████████████████ ...

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Dear Secretary Noem, I hope this letter finds you well, perhaps out on the prairie practicing your famously compassionate approach to animal stewardship. I recently finished your deeply moving, Pulit...

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(This is a guest piece by J.C. Whiteman, author of the book Home of the Saved. For years I’ve dedicated my life to fighting the scourge of wokeness. I’ve written angry Facebook posts, yelled at t...

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Tallahassee, FL— In a move critics are calling “peak Florida,” Governor Ron DeSantis announced today that the Florida Department of Health will eliminate rabies vaccine mandates for dogs, ci...

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El Paso, TX — In a development theologians are calling “the biggest mea culpa in salvation history,” Jesus Christ has returned to Earth—specifically to the United States—and immediately issued a formal ...

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Washington, DC — In honor of America’s 250th birthday, the White House has announced plans to convert the East Wing into a fully operational “American Squid Game” arena, where 456 lucky detainees from t...

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Washington, DC—In a shocking but somehow completely predictable twist, a coalition of MAGA-aligned Christians have launched a nationwide prayer initiative demanding that God resurrect the late financier...

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Back in 2016, Donald Trump told us the truth: “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn’t lose any voters.” At the time, the media laughed. Critics scoffed. A...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold move to “reclaim America’s heritage,” the Trump administration announced Monday that it will officially change the first line of the national anthem from “...

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Matthew J. DiStefano[Email: matthew@quoir.com][Website: https://thequollective.com/author/matt-distefano/] June 9, 2025 To Whom It May Concern, I am writing to express my enthusiastic desire to...

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I live in a studio apartment nestled in the heart of Chinatown. I do remote work as a telemarketer selling discount performance enhancement supplements catered to middle-class day traders who have sever...

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UMBAR, Middle-earth Folks, I’m gonna say what Gondor’s court poets won’t. What the Elves are too smug to admit. What even the Dwarves are grumbling into their ale but won’t publish in The Erebor Time...

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Congratulations, citizen!You’ve just woken up in the soft launch of America’s fascist rebrand—same flag, different flavor. The slogans are still freedom-y, the fonts still patriotic, but the vibe? Oh, t...

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In a move that left political commentators, historians, and geography teachers reaching for their stress balls, former President Donald J. Trump announced during a rally in Albuquerque (or as he called ...

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