AI Is A Gateway To The Welfare State
October 6, 2026 |
Keith Giles
Are you in need of a fun Thanksgiving mind game to plan on those conservative relatives? Just ask them when they chose to be straight. Pass the gravy and watch the logic implode. After all, conservatives love to claim they’ve solved the mystery of human sexuality: it’s a choice. They chant it like scripture, legislate it like dogma, and preach it like gospel. It’s the perfect talking point—it makes queerness a moral failure instead of a natural reality. But here’s the problem: their logic betrays them.
Basic philosophy lesson: you can’t have a choice without real alternatives. You don’t “choose” to breathe oxygen or “choose” to digest food—it just happens. Choice only exists when multiple options are genuinely available.
So when conservatives insist heterosexuality is a choice, they’re admitting something they don’t want to say out loud: same-sex attraction had to be on the table. Otherwise, there’s nothing to choose.
Play it out:
That’s not straight. That’s bisexuality with an evangelical marketing plan.
The irony is that truly straight people never “chose” anything. Straightness is just how they’re wired. Nobody wakes up one day and thinks, “Hmm, I guess I’ll pledge allegiance to heterosexuality.” But if you claim you did choose, you’re admitting you were tempted by the other road. That’s not morality—that’s repression.
This is why so many culture warriors seem obsessed with queer people. Falwell couldn’t stop talking about gays. Dobson built an empire trying to legislate away desire. DeSantis wages war on drag queens like they’re more dangerous than school shooters. It’s not protection—it’s projection. The thing they fear in others is the thing they can’t face in themselves.
It’s the oldest story in the book: the loudest anti-gay crusaders keep getting caught with “roommates” in the bathroom stall. When you insist orientation is a choice, you’re not outing the LGBTQ+ community—you’re outing yourself.
Their closet logic leaves them trapped in a corner:
Either way, their argument crumbles. There’s no third option.
Every time a conservative politician thunders about “protecting kids from the gay agenda,” what they’re really saying is: I felt it too, and I hate myself for it. They’re not fighting queer people—they’re fighting their own reflection. That’s why they legislate like zealots: if they can smother it in others, maybe they won’t have to face it in the mirror.
So let’s call it what it is: the “sexuality is a choice” argument isn’t a defense of morality—it’s an unintentional confession. They’re not proving LGBTQ+ people are broken. They’re proving they are.
The only question left is this: are conservatives ready to admit what their own logic already has? Or will they keep shouting from the closet, hoping the noise drowns out the truth?
So this Thanksgiving, when Uncle Randy starts his annual sermon about “choices,” just smile, pass the gravy, and remember—he already made his.
