My family and I (along with a friend of our daughter’s) are on a family vacation. Our first stop? The Ariana Grande concert. I didn’t attend. It was meant to be a girls thing, so I was totally happy to smoke a little sumthin’-sumthin’ and watch game 4 of the NBA finals (what a game, by the way!). After the game, I got a little nostalgic and grabbed the clicker and scrolled through the channels, one by one, without a guide.

Unfortunately, because I must have been staying at the long-forgotten Marriott in Oakland, half the channels didn’t work. Some of the ones that did—like whatever channel was playing The Office—didn’t have audio.

“Well, that’s all right,” I thought. “There’s enough here to whet my television appetite.”

Then I came across it… the greatest TV channel of all time…

REAL AMERICA’S VOICE.

For those that don’t know, Real America’s Voice is like Fox News if you could buy Fox News from Temu. I swear to God, the After Hours show with Alex Stein, as they called it, was riddled with more advertising than the body wraps of a NASCAR stock car.

When commentators did have something to say, it was like coming across the most bat-shit Twitter thread you could ever imagine, where everyone is your racist uncle. The highlight of the night, of course, had to be the mention of Barack HUSSEIN Obama.

And of course, they emphasized the “Hussein.” Because why not?

“It was Obama’s fault that there is so much racial divide in this country,” said Stein.

Yeah, because I guess just being Black in America is the problem. It’s not the fact that the KKK still exists, and has put their full support behind Donald J. Trump the GOP. It’s not the fact that the only asylum seekers who are gaining entry into this country are white. It’s not the fact that the intergenerational trauma caused by whites against Black and Indigenous folks has never been fully dealt with and rectified in this country. It’s not the fact that there are folks alive today who lived through Jim Crow. It’s not the fact that this country has a history of viewing Black folks as 3/5 a human.

Nah, it’s Obama’s fault.

Let me guess, gas prices are high because of Obama. The Epstein files aren’t fully released because of Obama. Your grocery bill is rising by the week because of Obama. We are at war with Iran because of Obama. The war in Ukraine rages on because of Obama. You can’t get your dick hard because of Obama.

Trumpers say that we have TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome). Well, if that’s true, what do you call it when you blame everything on the Black guy? Because we’re not allowed to call tit racist anymore. These namby-pambies melt like the little snowflakes they are.

And speaking of snowflakes, it sounds like I’ll be debating infamous debate-bro Andrew Wilson coming up here in the next few weeks. The topic will be “Should the Church Include LGBTQ+” folks. To which I say, “your church? Hell no. I would never recommend any LGBTQ+ person put themselves in that much danger.”

I will make sure to share details as they get solidified.

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