In a move that left political commentators, historians, and geography teachers reaching for their stress balls, former President Donald J. Trump announced during a rally in Albuquerque (or as he called it, “Al-burkey”) his latest campaign promise: renaming New Mexico to “New America.”

“Think about it, folks. New America. It’s a beautiful name, isn’t it? Tremendous name,” Trump said to thunderous applause from his base, some of whom were visibly confused but excited nonetheless. “New Mexico? What is that? Nobody really knows. Sounds like we’re giving the cartels a green light to just waltz right in, doesn’t it? New America sends a message. It’s strong, it’s powerful, it’s not letting corrupt Marxists like Gustavo Fring run wild!”

Trump, who has never been accused of having an intimate relationship with an atlas, appeared unaware that New Mexico is, in fact, a state—and has been since 1912. “We need to free the people of this place from the corruption and chaos of the Mexican cartels,” Trump continued, arms flailing in a manner reminiscent of an inflatable tube man at a car dealership. “They’re sending drugs, folks. They’re not nice people.”

The reaction from experts was swift and incredulous. “Is he seriously under the impression that New Mexico is part of Mexico?” asked Dr. Samantha Parker, a political science professor and self-described proud New Mexican. “He’s literally proposing to rename one of the United States because he doesn’t understand U.S. geography. What’s next? Renaming Idaho to ‘New Potato’ to liberate it from the French fry industry?”

In what has become his signature style, Trump doubled down on his proposal on Truth Social later that evening, posting: “The Fake News is trying to say New Mexico is already a state—WRONG! New America will be better than ever, just like I made America great again the first time. Sleepy Joe probably doesn’t even know what state it is in!”

The idea of renaming New Mexico has, predictably, sparked a range of reactions. Some supporters see it as a bold move that reinforces America’s identity, while others are already printing “Make New America Great Again” hats. Meanwhile, residents of the state are left wondering if they’ll soon need passports to visit their cousins in Texas.

And just when you thought the absurdity had peaked, a Trump campaign aide was overheard in the press scrum brainstorming potential slogans: “Breaking New America—Better Call Trump.”

Indeed, the former president’s plan has brought New Mexico into the spotlight—but whether it’s for liberation or a lecture on basic civics remains to be seen.