I live in a studio apartment nestled in the heart of Chinatown. I do remote work as a telemarketer selling discount performance enhancement supplements catered to middle-class day traders who have severe addictions to porn. The only things I’ve needed in life are my mini fridge, LG (life’s good) monitor and my Playstation 5. It’s all a guy needs.

Don’t tell the normies, but I spend a lot of time posting on 4chan’s video game board where I and other like-minded patriots lament the current state of gaming. Despite the recent years of the woke mob calling the shots, things are finally turning around. People don’t appreciate how good we have it these days.

The liberal media might not want to accept this (because they’re allergic to the cold, hard truth), but rising prices are the best sign of an economy getting stronger. It means that eventually, we’ll price out all the immigrants, and even though prices won’t stabilize, there will be a slew of better jobs for guys like me. I’m not going to be like those ingrates who whine about how much more expensive their groceries are. The way I see it, every rumble in my stomach is another cent added to my future salary.

This is all going to reach a boiling point in May of next year. That’s when the world will be blessed with “Grand Theft Auto VI”, a measly 13 years after “GTA V” came out. Now that Nintendo has opened the door to 80 dollar games, it’s only a matter of time before someone is brave enough to take it even higher.

I’ve heard a lot of whining and crying about this, but what these libs don’t understand is that they’re complaining about not being able to afford things that they don’t need. You don’t need that new game, or that new phone, or those clothes, or that dinner, or that rent payment, or that hospital visit. If everyone were more like me, this country would be in much better shape.

It’s not even that hard to come up with some extra money, take a third job, work nights for Uber, or sell some bone marrow like I did. It’ll be just a few short years before those sweet tariffs bring back all those jobs we outsourced, and our workforce will be totally prepared to take those spots. You might think it’s hypocritical that the same people who are supposed to be creating jobs are also huge supporters of AI , which is going to render humans obsolete…but it’s not.

As long as things go according to plan, we don’t have to worry about any rigged elections happening soon, which means that this yellow brick road isn’t going to end. There are going to be so many high-paying jobs being handed out that it’ll be the closest thing this country has ever been, or should be, to socialism. Eat shit, Marx.

A little bit of starving and anxiety builds character, and we all know that hard times create strong men. That’s what I would tell my family before they stopped inviting me over for Thanksgiving. Fine by me, Thanksgiving is just the prototype for food stamps, and I’d rather be dead than rely on something like that, a straight, white gamer like me is too proud for that.